英倫翻譯社/ Trsmaster

The Perfect Son
A: I have the perfect son. 
B: Does he smoke? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he drink whiskey? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he ever come home late? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? 
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

A Second Language
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. 
Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" 
The cat ran away. 
"What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. 
"Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

The Biggest Lie
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. 
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" 
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." 
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." 
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Double Mistakes
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? 
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. 
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. 
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

Call Me Taxi
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. 
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

An Elephant's Grave
A: Why are you crying? 
B: The elephant is dead. 
A: Was he your pet? 
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

Wrong Number
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. 
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" 
"Wrong number," replied the girl.